Parenting a toddler is hard shit. It's hard shit because it's hard holding back your anger when she accidentally hits you with a solar pig flashlight you asked her to stop swinging, in public. She's got to swing it to see why it's not a good idea, right? I was left with a dinged up lip and she stopped swinging the flashlight because of the dinged up lip or because she noticed ice on a bench she wanted to eat. Gross! I had success in not huffing or growling at that flashlight bit which was unusual for me.
Since reading a few articles I have tried to really rein in my growls and realize the enormous amount of growing emotionally this child is doing right now. There is a lot of good I can do by keeping my cool and being a CEO (HA) parent, confident and effortless (this article sent from a good friend really resonated with me). It's an understatement: this parenting a toddler business is hard shit.

It's an incredibly complicated and intertwined web of real, raw, human stuff, from everyone in the family or anyone around for that matter. It's a rained drenched, wind blown, soggy, sun glistened web for all to see and also for no one to see. It's messy and beautifully real. I want to be violent at times, I said it. Sometimes I want to squeeze a wine glass (because it's so thin) until blood pours from my dry, unattended cracking hand. I want to run in the backyard and scream, howl, and have our neighbors hear it and think, "oh, they have a kid" and not come over to check on us. It's unexplainably beautiful because it's our life. I love being in this messy, safe place. I love watching my partner climb around in this tangly, uncharted, and stable web because I see the sacrifices and know the struggle too, in my way. I am lucky to see him grow and expand like a balloon, to fit all of her, him, and us into his life. I don't get the same perspective of myself because that's just the way it is, we reflect on ourselves differently. I get to be a part of his clear moments and his frustrated ones and he mine. Right now I love coming home to them spelling words like R O B O T on the fridge.

It is an honor, Bea, to help you start up in life. You add a rainbow of richness and education and love to mine.